


Worse (See: Better)

by eyypuhreel



Category: SEVENTEEN - Fandom
Genre: Angst, Cheating, Implied Sexual Content, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-19
Updated: 2021-01-19
Packaged: 2021-03-17 09:41:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,984
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28846962
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eyypuhreel/pseuds/eyypuhreel
Summary: "..You're a sin worth committing.""But a sin all the same."
Relationships: Jeon Wonwoo/Kim Mingyu, Kim Mingyu/Lee Seokmin | DK
Kudos: 30





	Worse (See: Better)

**Author's Note:**

> Another round of prompts.. but this time it's a song, a genre and a pairing.
> 
> Julia - Lauv
> 
> Once again, thanks to Iya for the prompt.

_When we met  
I wasn't me  
I was so numb  
Yeah, I was so lonely_

He turned the volume up a little bit while traffic was at a standstill. Seoul traffic was bearable for the most part of the year. But winter season was at its peak as snow fell heavy and temperatures dropped to the negatives. Mingyu kept his eyes trained in front of him, focusing on the movement of the wipers. It kept him distracted long enough before his attention was brought back to the person sat on the passenger seat.

“You okay?”

He smiled apologetically. “Yeah. Sorry you were saying?”

Mingyu let go of the wheel to pull the other’s hands towards him – blowing warm air into them. But the other took it from him and held them in his own. And even without rubbing his hands, he started to feel warm as he talked about his day.

He really was sunshine manifest.

He started talking about people from work, how Jihoon had been quiet all throughout the session except when he wanted to have him change the way he sang. Mingyu knew that was a rare occurrence. Then he talked about how particularly snippy he was with Soonyoung because he was just all over the place and sought solace with Jun. He told him about this cat game and was really into it that it took up most of his day.

That was everything that happened until Mingyu picked him up to drive them home. He waited for him outside the building, arms wide open for him to run into. Instead of words, they chose the slow-languid dance of their lips in greeting and had to stop themselves before it could go any quicker. They got in the car before the snow could start falling.

He loved him so much – his sunshine.

“What about you, babe? Anything interesting today?”

_You have no idea._ He flipped one of his hands to intertwine with his while the other returned to the wheel. They were slowly moving.

“Nothing really. Just work. The merger is almost 75% done.”

“Oh yeah. The business thing. So how’s that going to work out?”

“Well.. I’ll be working more closely with their people for the next few months to ease up the transition and integration. We both want the lines to be set and avoid possibilities of it ever being crossed. It may be a merger, but we still are technically two separate entries just benefiting from an agreement.”

He laughed. “You went all business on me again. But you’re excited right? Because I am for you!”

“Yeah? And why’s that? You hate anything related to my business.” Mingyu teased while bringing their intertwined hands to his lips.

“Because you can finally bond with my brother.”

With that he froze, and he heard him sigh. This has been a recurring reaction because the world knew he didn’t get along with his brother. There has been effort put into making them “get-along” through awkward fixed lunches, nights out with mutual friends – but to no avail. 

But there was another world that knew otherwise.

Another world where his brother was lying naked, sated in his apartment after being adored by Mingyu before he met up with him.

“Gyu. It’s been two years since we got together. Why can’t you two get along?”

“You know how much your brother hates forced interactions. And in the years we’ve been together, the handful of times we had to interact was orchestrated.”

He heard his boyfriend sigh so he placed a comforting arm on his thigh, patting it twice.

“I know. It’s just.. things are getting serious between us, you know? And when that time comes when we’re all forced into family gatherings by my mother without any plausible excuse to get out of it – at least it won’t be that bad for the three of us.”

The image of the small box stowed away in the deep recesses of his closet burned in his mind. Seokmin was right. But he didn’t know everything when it came to his relationship to his older brother. He didn’t know there was a relationship between him and Wonwoo to begin with.

It all started in college. And as cliché as it was, it was your typical rivalry story, pining for top of the class. Enemies turned to lovers in secret. And they’ve been at it from then until now.

No one knew. And it gave them both such a high.

It started as nothing more but sex. Hot, raw and fast. But late night, secret trysts turned into pancakes for breakfast. Hot, raw and fast became warm, soft and intimate. ‘Are you free?’ morphed to ‘I miss you’ in the years they’ve been together.

And when the question was asked, what are we?

The answer was simple.. “Us.”

And that was all Mingyu needed in the years they’ve been together. Never mind the secret rendezvous. Never mind the too private dates. Never mind that he’s never told a soul about Wonwoo. Because the answer to his question involved only the two of them. Us. Just the two of them in this world they’ve created together.

But something shifted along the way. It only took a year and a half. A year and a half and Mingyu was faced with a dilemma he couldn’t get out of.

Wonwoo went away, an unspoken end to their relationship - or so it would be from Mingyu’s end. Months on end of not hearing anything from Wonwoo because he had to pursue a master’s degree, he was devastated. 18 months was all it was really. It wasn’t that long a time to justify the end.

And then he met Seokmin. At his lowest point, the darkest it’s been in this lifetime – he came in shining as bright as the sun. And just like Icarus, he flew closer and closer to it, to him - knowing it would cause his demise.. Because he didn’t care, he was there.

Seokmin was there, Wonwoo wasn’t.

And all Wonwoo couldn’t give, Seokmin gave freely. The secret rendezvous turned to walks in the park on a crowded day. The private dates became lining-up to dine at the hippest restaurant in town, documented for the world to know where they were. And not a single soul didn’t know about Seokmin.

And when the question was asked, what are we?

The answer was simple.. “I’m yours and you’re mine. If you’ll have me?”

And that was all Mingyu needed to start the years he’ll have with him.

Months into their relationship, a year and a half since Wonwoo went away – he came back. And he came back in the worst circumstance – at a family gathering to finally introduce him as Seokmin’s significant other and to welcome back the detached, aloof older brother.

That very night, he asked Seokmin.. “Do you love me?”

“Of course I do.”

The weeks that followed were difficult. There were no family gatherings that followed suit, not even a get-together with their mutual friends. But every day since his return, Wonwoo was always there. At the café he’d pass by.. at the department store to buy curtains.. at a random alley petting a stray cat..

But it was at the grocery when things took a turn for the worse (see: better). He saw him standing by fresh produce, two types of vegetables on either hand. And when he approached, he gave him a look that was too familiar for comfort, the same one he’d give when he didn’t know what to do and knew Mingyu was the answer – his heart was spazzing in his chest.

“Which one’s the courgette?”

And as if the year and a half didn’t happen, he helped him finish his groceries – his own forgotten for another day.

And as if he hadn’t met Seokmin, he looked at Wonwoo the way the older looked at him earlier – like he was the answer as he scavenged his the older’s place to cook him dinner.

And as if he didn’t have a boyfriend, Mingyu kissed Wonwoo. And he kissed him back.

A month later, he asked Wonwoo.. “Did you love me?”

“Always have. Always will.”

The year and a half was forgotten that night.

And it’s been forgotten ever since, only ever coming up when Seokmin was in the picture – the reminder of their illicit affair. But was it really? He loved Wonwoo first.

But he loved Seokmin too.

And Mingyu knew he had to choose. But he couldn’t.

“He doesn’t deserve this. He didn’t do anything wrong.” Hours before he had to meet Seokmin, Mingyu was lying in bed at Wonwoo’s apartment – the only place that was theirs. Because just like before, nobody knew of it – not even his family. Another secret that they both keep, the door to the world they created.

“Yeah. I know. This is wrong.. we’re wrong. Right?” The older sighed as he laid down beside him. He moved closer, allowing himself to thaw with the younger’s heat. He’s always been cold – and he was his sunshine.

And instead of an answer, he chose to meet his lips – kissing the guilt away. Guilt from which, he could never really tell.

Guilt from loving both brothers.

Guilt from loving one more.

Guilt from knowing who he loved more.

Guilt from not letting the other go.

“Tell me to stop.” Wonwoo pleaded, a hand placed over his chest as he moved away.

“Don’t stop.” Mingyu said without thinking.

“You know I can’t if you don’t tell me to.”

“Then don’t.” Mingyu meant it. Because this was wrong and he knew he could end it. But his soul be damned he wanted this too much to let it go. To let him go. There was no denying how in love with Wonwoo he was.. still. Maybe even beyond forever.

“But this is wrong.” And as if to prove a point, Wonwoo nipped his lower lip. Pain. It stung, the taste of blood on his tongue. But it sent him on a high. Because this was Wonwoo, the other half of “Us.”

“I know. You’re a sin worth committing.”

Mingyu moved to top him.

“But a sin all the same.” 

Wonwoo wrapped his arms around his neck.

“A sin that I love.”

Mingyu pressed himself on him.

“And I’m in love with the sinner.”

Wonwoo kissed him.

He opened his window and watched the snow fall, the biting chill of winter caressing his face. He flinched when snow fell on his cheek. It was really cold. But he felt it thaw on his cheek – familiar, he thought. And just that thought brought him to the box hidden in his closet.

He was so in love, he bought the ring. There was no doubt in his mind that he wanted this for the rest of his life.

“Love, I’m cold.” Seokmin said beside him, a slight clatter of his teeth. He closed the window and reached over to him. Even when he said he was cold, Seokmin was still warm.

He really was sunshine manifest – and he loved him.

And as the cold vanished, he couldn’t help but hope that Wonwoo woke up while his heat was still seeped in the sheets after leaving him this cold, winter night. Because he was Wonwoo’s sunshine - a little secret he whispered in his sleep in their early years.

_I never meant to hurt you like that  
And if I could go back I'd leave you alone _

He was so in love, he bought the ring, and a chain for him to wear. 

Because Wonwoo was the answer to the question he wished he was asking. And until the time he couldn’t, while Wonwoo couldn’t let him go, he’d want to keep him close..

His “Always have. Always will.”

To keep their “Us” alive.

Seokmin squeezed his hand in comfort. The engagement ring digging - burning between his fingers.


End file.
